I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
