We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
