8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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