It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize