There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You're like the curious george of whores
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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