youre lurking in front of me
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
