Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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