Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
