I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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