He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
