If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize