shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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