Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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