I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
