i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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