Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You made out with two different species that night
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Alive.
So much puke
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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