pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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