I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize