Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
