u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
