I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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