how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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