I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
