this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
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