The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
