Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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