I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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