i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
