I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
