bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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