I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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