there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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