She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
