Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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