moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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