I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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