Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
she told me i tasted like america
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
