But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
this just has baby written all over it
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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