drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
