escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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