he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
