just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
