sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
