Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
