I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
