OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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