Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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