I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
