He disabled his match.com account in front of me
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
