I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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