Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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