literally had 100 drinks last night.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Randomize
