Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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