im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just invented taco cereal.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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