Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
