Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
