I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
