I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
