so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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