so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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