Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize