So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
